


the familiarity of loneliness

by starryline



Category: ARGONAVIS from BanG Dream! AAside (Video Game)
Genre: Light Angst, M/M, commission, confession (or at least that was supposedly my prompt)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-03
Updated: 2021-03-03
Packaged: 2021-03-18 18:29:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,718
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29738061
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/starryline/pseuds/starryline
Summary: there are times when the feeling of loneliness would drape on yamato, it didn't always come from him. instead, there are moments he’d catch fuuta, who, despite wearing the brightest smile you can ever see…...bears a sort of pain that felt heavy, yet empty...
Relationships: Kaminoshima Futa/Tsubaki Yamato
Comments: 1
Kudos: 15





	the familiarity of loneliness

**Author's Note:**

  * For [bunnybunnybunny](https://archiveofourown.org/users/bunnybunnybunny/gifts).



> commission for scarletbuns on twitter! this time i offer some fuuyam for the soul! this was enjoyable to write, albeit applying some newly-learned and painful lore but nonetheless, here's another work i gave my all with! i hope u have fun reading this one too <3

Yamato was no stranger to the feeling of loneliness.

He wasn’t unaware that he’s often perceived to be the “odd one out”, and it that way, he’d stand out in a mildly bad way. To be fair, the idea of a lonely, weird kid with a(n arguably concerning amount of) love for white rice would at least imprint in people’s heads for at least a certain amount of time, only for a more relevant topic to squeeze into their headspaces.

The familiarity became almost comforting at one point; the experience of no one bothering you, being able to do things in your own pace and way--these perks proved useful to the type of person Yamato was, but everything changed after he had joined Fuujin RIZING.

No one would ever expect him to be around such a rowdy, lively group of people; the way he is made him stick out like a sore thumb. Besides, their bond looked pretty much solid enough, that adding another person into the team count felt like dead weight waiting to cause trouble for them one way or another.

However, worst case scenarios were prevented, as the result of an unlikely bond between these five young men. Sure, they would fight at times, and find themselves facing some sort of trouble along the way, but there never seemed to be a dull moment between them, that even Yamato felt as if the loneliness looming over him had finally left his sight.

At least, on his part.

There are times when the feeling would drape itself on him, but it didn’t come from him. Instead, there are moments he’d catch Fuuta, who, despite wearing the brightest smile you can ever see…

...bears a sort of pain that felt heavy, yet empty...

“Oi, Yamato, are you listening?”

“H-Huh?”

Kouhei sighed heavily at his stuttering. “I said, you’re assigned to pick up the equipment from the studio to the live house tomorrow. Try to be as early as possible in case we bump into trouble, okay?”

“Mm…”

“Alright, now everyone’s tasks are finalized,” Aoi checked, skimming through his notes for any details missed. “Is everyone good with that, or…?”

“What about me!?”

The voice was energetic as ever, exclaiming in a tone that bore no ill intent whatsoever. Fuuta asked, raising his hand like an enthusiastic grade school student in class. “I wanna help too! What can I do!?”

“You don’t have to worry yourself about that, Fuuta.” Kouhei interjected, “You need to be at your best for the live, right? You’re our vocalist after all.”

“Kou-nii’s right!” Misaki added. “The last thing we want is to stress yourself out, so let the rest of us handle this, okay!?”

His expression faded into a sad one, to which Aoi was quick to respond.

“Now, now… don’t be upset, alright?” The trombonist approached, patting him on the shoulder. “I promise we’ll have tons of fun on the live! That’s what’s important after all, remember?”

Eventually, everyone was huddled around Fuuta, who was relatively quick to revert back into a good mood after some quick cheering up. Being reminded of the upcoming live got him back to his spirits, and such a vibe was contagious, quickly spreading among the members of Fuurai that all enthusiastically cheered.

From a first glance, it seemed there was nothing wrong with this scene at all; Fuujin RIZING had always been this tight-knit group of childhood friends that seemed to revolve around Fuuta, but in the eyes of Yamato, something felt off.

He was somewhere in between the lines of an outsider and a member, which gives him the benefit of seeing things the others could not. Not that he could put them exactly into words, but something was definitely off.

In any case, he thought he shouldn’t be too bothered by irrelevant thoughts, not with their show coming up at least. When Kouhei dismissed them, Yamato immediately headed back to bed to get a good night's rest, keeping the task and tomorrow’s live in mind.

Unfortunately, there are some unexpected circumstances that happen at times when you least expect: at six in the morning, right outside the sharehouse’s door.

“Good morning, Yamato!”

“Ah, Fuuta…” was all he could say. Who would’ve expected him waiting behind the door like that? “Why are you up?”

“I wanna join you with your errand!”

“Hmm…?” He tilted his head. “Why is that?”

“Eehhh, you know how Kou-nii and the others never let me do work, right?” He began to complain, “I always told them I’m willing to help, and I’m even fine with whatever task, but every time I just get shot down!! I don’t get it!”

The guitarist shared his sentiment, to an extent; it seemed rather unnecessary to constantly deny him from doing work, yet he’s seen it over and over  _ and over _ again that he now couldn’t help but to wonder.

“Wouldn’t they get mad if you disobey them, though…?”

“It’ll be fine!” He urged. “I’ll try not to get into trouble, I promise! And I’ll take full responsibility, so they won’t have to be mad at you, okay!?

Fuuta was being too persuasive to a point wherein he couldn’t shoot him down, even if he wanted to. The space between them as the vocalist leaned closer in his attempt to beg did not help at all.

A heavy sigh preceded his answer, “Fine, you can come with.”, to which made Fuuta leap and scream in joy, alerting Yamato just a bit.

“I wouldn’t do that if you don’t want to get caught.”

“Oh! Right.”

* * *

The journey there was more silent than Yamato thought it'd be; it just seemed like there's a ton of things Fuuta can possibly talk about, and yet, he was met with silence. Not that it could be particularly bad—for all he knew, he could still be drowsy from waking up early, or is just simply lost in thought the way the guitarist usually is. Moreover, Fuuta has had at least a few episodes of the same scenario, only to snap back into his senses when something in his environment catches his attention, like—

"Was that a lizard!?"

Like that.

He followed his companion's tracks, into a row of bushes by  the park. Fuuta crouched over, sticking his head into the leaves to a certain extent. "Come out, lizard! Maybe we can give Rex a friend~!"

The leaves rustled the more Fuuta pursued his search, at a point where Yamato thought he had to quit, thus pulling him back by his shoulder.

"Hmm? What is it, Yamato?"

"I don't think there's anything there."

"Ehh!?" He exclaimed. "But I saw it, I swear, with my own two eyes!!"

The next set of words weren't meant to bear much meaning, yet as Yamato spoke of them, Fuuta's mind went to a halt.

"Maybe you were just thinking too much."

Throughout his life, he's heard people tell him that a ton of times. Whenever he wonders about something deeply, instead of answers, he'll be dismissed exactly like that, especially by the very people he considered his friends.

It was weird—he didn't know  _ why _ he even felt bad. Though if there was one way to describe it, he'd say that there's this sort of gap, one that felt empty, no matter how many times he'd fill them with priceless memories.

Once more, Yamato was witnessing Fuuta in a state he's rare to be in, that not even the rest of Fuurai has probably seen. As the vocalist's head was bent down, body trembling the slightest bit, and a stance that looked so tense...—

Yamato pulls Fuuta into a hug.

He didn’t know why he did that, but the moment he laid eyes on the look in his face, it’s as if he knew he  _ had _ to do this.

“Y… Yamato…?”

The vocalist entered a state of shock upon finding himself wrapped around the arms of the other, whomst wasn’t the type to pull off this sort of gesture. As much as there were one too many thoughts in his head, however, Fuuta fails to put any of them into words. 

He didn’t get it… he was doing fine just now, right…? He had a really good smile on his face, right…? Yet why…

...why are there tears that kissed his cheek?

It’s not like he was really crying; there were no sobs that left his lips, nor was he trembling from emotion, yet he wished how he could simply melt further from the warmth of the other being so close to him, a warmth that felt different from the ones he’d felt when he spends time with his band.

He’s had countless good times spent with them, and nothing could  _ ever _ take that away from him, but somehow, it felt as if there was this indescribable blank space at the thought of his childhood friends.

Fuuta would ask over and over again if something was wrong, if he wasn’t doing enough, because no matter how much fun they have, or how tight-knit everyone seemed to be by the end of the day, that gap would haunt him from the back of his mind, sending a lurking feeling of loneliness that never should have been there.

To him, it felt almost impossible for this indescribable feeling to dissipate, given he didn't even understand what caused it in the first place, but—

"It's okay. I'm here."

—but those words had calmed his racing heart, filling themselves up in that gap that tormented him.

He reached out and hugged the other in return.

Were those words enough to ease his mind? Hardly. There was still far too much to do to close this unnamed distance that he felt, but at the very least, he counted on Yamato’s words to carry on.

“T-Then that’s a promise… okay, Yamato!?” He exclaimed.

“Mmh, a promise, then.”

It worked well for the guitarist anyway; he never really felt much of a need to even be with someone, not when he was comfortable being all alone, but he supposes some things change, and at the the moment he the radiant smile Fuuta always puts on, the one he just realized how much he loved seeing, he knew he can start to say goodbye to the lonely old days.


End file.
